when my unconscious mind speaks..

The preparation of my study in Rotterdam starts to make me want to scream inside. My school has not applied for my mvv application (temporary resident visa for international student) to the IND (Netherland Immigration Office) because they need to check whether I already paid for the tuition fee or not, (while in fact I already notify them that I already sent them the evidence of tuition fee payment from my bank, along with the invoice from the University but they would like to get the notification from their finance department first to start the application to IND) and it takes 6-8 weeks to issue the Visa, then I need to apply for Visa Schengen in Netherland Embassy in Indonesia (otherwise I can't get out from Netherland and see the beauty of europe or make a little sweet escape to the nearest country and enjoy it by myself), and it takes 3 weeks to get the visa. The clock is ticking in my head, and wonder whether I could go there on time.

Besides that, I haven't find a place to live in Rotterdam, and it is already a second week in June.


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It is unconsciously disturbing me inside.


You know, while I pretending to smile and assure my self, that everything will be allright If I take a deep breath and calm, my unconscious self started to scream inside and knocking in my head "Come on come on where do you want to live in Rotterdam? do you actually want to end up in a hostel alone while looking for a room?" and all the imaginary scenes started to pop out in my head where I get rob, meeting a very nasty foreigners etc etc etc.

But I know I am a very calm woman and not emotionally involved with my problem, I surely know I can take care this, well,.. If until the day of my departure I haven't found a place to live I always can get a hostel right? well well yes I know everything will be alright..I am calm, confident, and independent. I always can take care my own problem. there is no need to be panic, or I could just leave the problem and hope that it will solved by itself.........*mumbling*.

Furthermore, everytime I go through this website: http://www.llm-guide.com/ and look at a thread, where all of my future classmates speak about their condition to prepare for the upcoming semester in September, I feel left behind.

With all due respect to my future classmates, here I post you some of their comments in that thread:


"Hi A, I'm B from Rome. I've also been admitted to the bcml ll.m. As far as I know about the accomodation procedure, the University will give you ( at least they did it with me) the link to the "Stadswonen". Anyway, just write to them (I guess to Mr van der Schee).By the way, which specialisation did u choose?I chosed Corporate...Bye"


"Hi B,thank you very much..They did gave me the link but i have to pass the ielts exams as a proof of proficiency in english in order to offer me a house in june.I have the proficiency of cambridge and the one of michigan but i guess these are not enough.. :)!Are you also sitting the ielts exams?Do you know if i have to apply for the house?Did you?Maritime is my specialisation..Maybe we ll have some courses together though... "


"i added you on facebook!i hope it s you the one i found!!..see you there!"


what can you see from the conversation above?


they already choose their specialisation, and my ambitious side said it to my head that they choose it confidently. I haven't choose my specialisation confidently. I know I will take corporate as my concentration. I know this is the best for me, but I even haven't started to read again those text book regarding international business law...the clock in my head once again ticking, and I am afraid whether I could prepare all of these on time. whether I could follow the lecture, and doing good in class. *sigh*. I need to be prepared, and not to think about other stuff other than my preparation for the upcoming semester on September.. as my self assurance once again I take a deep breath.. I know everything will be allright, solve it step by step.. *fuuuhh..*


Aaaannnyyywayyy... this is the picture of my (hopefully) future school:























Erasmus University actually famous with their maritime law (the best in europe) and their business school (top 20 in the world, and kwik kian gie did his MBA there..).. anyone interested to pursue mba or llm in maritime law? I think this is the right place to study.