The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP) and the National Institute of Justice interviewed 8,000 men and 8,000 women and determined that an estimated 876,000 rapes occur each year in the United States. Eighty percent of rapes are committed by someone who knows the victim, and 61% of female victims are under 18 years old.
Some of rape victims are prefer to commit suicide to be free from their physical and emotional distress. however, as I promised before in my last post about rape victims, I would like to share you how rape survivors survive and move on with their lives. I ressearched how rape survivors survive in the internet and found these testimonial:
"Its been almost 2 yrs since I was raped. An it is an can be a very frightening experience. After it happened I felt like I had to carry the burden all on my own. One day I told a close friend what happened, an through tears told her that I wanted her to know that so if it should happen to her,she will know not to keep it a secret an so she can hopefully avoid being in the same situation.When I got done talking to her I realized I went through it so I can try and help people avoid going through it too. "
- Rape Survivors 1-
"Not only the physical scars, but the emotional scars disappear eventually. Group therapy at WOAR is great. Nobody was there for me so I went to a therapist after 4 years. I have to say the repercussions and how it affected my relationships with men were tremendous. I feel more comfortable working with women and children and the elderly, stay out of bars and away from drug and alcohol users (abusers) I practice a stronger morality based on what I learned in childhood in the Church. I may not be perfect but I am a survivor."
- Rape Survivors 2-
"My sister was raped in high school. I was younger, and couldn't really do anything but listen and be supportive, but she told me that that was enough. She needed support from more than just her little sister, but my support still helped. I think if someone you love is raped, just listening and supporting is very important."
-Rape survivors 3-
"The most important thing to do after you've been raped, is not to keep it to yourself. By not talking about your rape, you isolate yourself, and the emotions following the rape could become overwhelming. There are so many women who have experienced raped, chances are that you have a friend or relative is one of them. Even if you don't report it, for whatever reason you have, do yourself the favor and tell someone. My rape happened as a freshman in high school and it took years before I was able to come out; I regret doing that to myself."
-Rape survivors 4-
"I took it one day at a time and went to counseling where I was able to be open with how I felt. I still deal with my rape every day because I have a child who was born as a result. However, I have grown stronger and have learned to manage my post traumatic stress, I've learned to breath and live by knowing that it was not my fault. And I am still not over it. I will never get over being raped because there are still women and children being victimized. What helped me was to talk to other men and women like myself, By helping others with my survival story I've grown a lot as I person. I make it a point not to feel sorry for myself because I love to be happy. This is not a overnight process. It's been over ten years since I was raped, and I still have problems sleeping at times, I have just learned to deal with it but not to dwell on it. I make it my point to not be a victim. I am a survivor."
-Rape Survivors 5-
As stated in their testimonials, many rape victims started to isolated themselves and had post traumatic stress, depresion, lack of self-esteem, had insomnia, and many more. The best thing to do is share it to someone you trust, and talk about it. However, many rape victims chose not to do that because they were afraid, but with isolating themselves, the healing process will be delayed and they will end up dwelling with the pain by themselves. Therapy might help, support from family and friends are surely important too.
However, as the testimonials implicitly told me, that to move on from such tragedy, you need to have the willingness to survive, and tried to accept that accident happened in your life, move on, and strive to be happy. It is not an easy thing to do, but after all you need to go on with you lives right? too many happiness waiting for you will be wasted if you dwelling with your nightmare ;).
I found the study for Rape Trauma Syndrome, and I think this will explain generally how rape victims generally felt after the accidents happened:
Rape Trauma Syndrome / PTSD
Rape is the only type of crime that reliably predicts development of a psychological disorder (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Rape Trauma Syndrome); 57% of all completed rape survivors develop RTS, and 16.5% still have RTS 17 years after the rape.
"Sometimes I think the feelings are more intense now than they were at first. I was on the trolley and two guys came and sat down across from me. They looked like the two that raped me. I could almost feel like I was being grabbed again. I just have to keep thinking intellectually that it isn’t going to happen. I know intellectually it won’t, but my gut reaction is so intense…I feel people are following me. I still look at every car that goes by even though I know the guys are locked up. Sometimes it gets so intense…it seems worse than it ever was."-Rape Survivor; age 21
Three months following the rape Definition of Rape Trauma Syndrome:
Symptoms the rape survivor experiences that are both mental (emotional) and physical. The rape survivor will experience symptoms of physically reliving the rape, fear of seeing the assailant, fear of another attack, sleep disturbances, nightmares, fear, suspiciousness, anxiety, major depression, and impairment in social functions. Rape Trauma Syndrome has three stages:
A. Impact Stage
B. Acute Stage
C. Resolution Stage
IMPACT STAGE
The impact stage is the initial stage most survivors experience. The survivor may appear dazed, in a state of un-reality and struggling to comprehend the rape. There is a wide range of symptoms that rape survivors express during this time: from calm and controlling to hysterical and crying. Often the survivor will make comments like, “I can’t believe this happened to me” or some other shock-type of statement which disclaims the actuality of the traumatic event. The victim is realizing that their lifestyle has been completely disrupted. The most common reactions of this stage are:
Shock:
The person appears to be on automatic pilot and may act as like they normally do. If this response does not work, then crisis sets in.
Denial:
The person may refuse or avoid talking about the incident, or even try not to think about it. The person wants to forget what happened. This is usually a short-lived response.
Rationalization:
Involves a lot of talking and repeating the same things over and over, often may appear to be void of emotions. It is usually a verbal processing of thoughts. A person might ask a lot of, “What if…” and “Why didn’t I…” questions. During these first few days, the survivor may be concerned with decisions regarding medical care, police involvement, physical security, etc. He/She will probably be concerned with how significant others will respond to the assault. The survivor may still feel a loss of control. Sometimes signs of depression will serve to mask other feelings.
ACUTE STAGE
This stage generally lasts 4-8 weeks after the assault. During this stage, the survivor’s usual coping mechanisms have failed and a struggle to regain control is occurring. Some of the symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome during this acute state could include: Physical: Fatigue, soreness, pain, etc. Some are real and some are psychosomatic. Sleep pattern disturbances are common. The survivor usually has trouble sleeping or restless nights when they wake and cannot go back to sleep. Some will have nightmares and wake up screaming, etc. Eating pattern disturbances can include decreases appetite, nausea and vomiting or stomach pains. Symptoms specific to the attack could be the mouth and throat irritation caused by oral sex, vaginal discharge, bleeding, pain, swelling, etc., caused by anal sex.
Emotional:
Primary symptoms include fear of death, injury, mutilation, etc. The survivor feels a combination of “thankful to be alive” and “fear of death” which is related to a loss of control. Shame, guilt, and anger are also symptoms that may be occurring.
Thoughts-Cognitive:
Survivors will often try to suppress thoughts of the attack. Often when this approach is used the survivor suffers from flashbacks and nightmares. Most go through a rationalization process throughout the duration of syndrome- “What if..”, “If I had only…”, and “Why did this happen to me?”
RESOLUTION STAGE
At the end of 8 weeks, the crisis should be mostly resolved. However, the crisis may reoccur when certain triggers appear and remind the survivor of the assault. For example, testifying in court, seeing a person who resembles the rapist, or having to go for a HIV, pregnancy test, etc. can trigger a crisis response. There may continue to be a disruption in the survivor’s life. However, if symptoms continue, or get worse, a referral for professional help may be needed.
COMMON FEELINGS EXPERIENCED BY SURVIVORS •
The following are not the only emotions experienced by survivors. This is a list of a few of the most common.
NIGHTMARES:
Nightmares are much more prevalent following the first few weeks following the assault or during times when the survivor is dealing with a lot of trauma. During the healing process, the survivor spends so many waking hours thinking about the assault that it can become overwhelming. These thoughts can even carry over into the survivors sleeping hours, becoming nightmares. When the survivor goes to bed, the brain is still working, trying to sort out the day’s thoughts. As a survivor sleeps, the thoughts continue. Those thoughts form into dreams. Before you know it, the survivor is dreaming about the assault.
ANGER:
It is easy to see why the survivor is angry. His/Her power and control was taken away and the survivor is left to deal with the aftermath. In many cases, the survivor’s sense of security is stripped away, leaving the survivor feeling vulnerable. The survivor didn’t ask to have this done to them and now they are having work through all the issues surrounding the assault. The anger many be directed toward himself/herself, the rapist, therapist, family, friends, co-workers, etc. SHOCK:
A feeling of numbness might occur with the survivor. Many survivors state that they are on “automatic pilot”. This generally happens during the first few days following the assault.
DENIAL:
Disbelief and denial by the survivor often occurs even when there is evidence to support the contrary: violence, forceful isolation, restraint, verbal threats, etc. Many survivors recall denying to themselves that they were being raped. Following the assault, some will make statements like, “That did not just happen to me.”
SELF-BLAME:
Many survivors feel betrayed by their own judgment. This can especially be true in cases of acquaintance rape. In cases of acquaintance rape, men/women that the survivor knew, men/women to whom they have trusted, men/women who they will most likely continue to see around, have turned on them in a terrible way. The feelings of self-blame begin as the survivor recognizes his/her inability to make the acquaintance rapist stop. Immediately after the rape, self-blame causes many survivors to try and shut the episode out of their minds. Also, self-blame is one of the reasons why survivors do not report the assault to authorities, in fear that others will blame them just as they blame themselves.
NOT FIGHTING BACK:
After being raped, many survivors are angry with themselves for not fighting back harder, even though, at the time of the rape, most report feeling afraid for their lives. In retrospect, they think of ways they could have fought off the attack, screamed for help, or escaped. They often replay the assault in their minds, trying to come up with a different ending.
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